things that the idiot puppy has eaten

Well. It's possible that she's getting a touch too old to be legally called a puppy, but as long as we're going with maturity level no one will question the label, believe me.

Anyway, since it's winter break and I have free time, finally, I've been thinking it's probably time for my monthly blog, but a suitable topic didn't present itself.

And then during supper tonight, we were discussing Carson's eating habits, and Dad said, "At least she hasn't got hold of the mower yet."

A brief, loaded pause, and then my mother said, "Actually, honey..."

And I thought, But of course, that's what it needs to be. Let's see, what all has that dog eaten? Oh, it's a long list, friends.

1. The starter rope off our lawn mower. As it has been reported to me, the handle and a little bit of the rope is still left, but the rest is gone.
2. There was a plastic handle found in the yard today. We don't know what it was originally attached to. Whatever it was, it's gone now. How she stomachs these things I have no idea.
3. A green doormat...that people used to wipe their feet off on...after tracking their boots through horse stables and cow pens. Little bits of bright green are scattered across the front lawn. I say it makes the yard look more alive. Nobody has small enough feet for what's left, though.
4. She removed and partially maimed a Christmas light from the string on our fence. It's still a mystery, folks.
5. A solar yard light. Not totally eaten...dismembered and scattered across the yard.
6. Tissues.
7. Bite marks on several of my father's shoes, much to his discontentment.
8. A shovel handle.
9. Most of a basketball.
10. Several gloves.
11. Chewed the top off a can of spray paint, destroying the functionality if not the contents of the thing.
12. Part of a hose. Fortunately it was already out of use.
13. The seat off the riding lawn mower, which was stuffed with fiberfill, resulting in our yard being spackled in white.

Fun. So, so much fun. I feel like I must be forgetting something, because it really seems like she's been more destructive than that since she came to stay with us last January, but there you have it.

Don't you wish YOU had one?

acting like a man

I know, I know, it's been slightly over two months since I blogged, but I have a bone to pick. I'm not quite sure who it's with, but it begins with this phrase:

"If a woman wants to act like a man, treat her like one."

It's been going around my school for a while...shockingly, it's only boys who say it. My issue here is mostly with what it's supposed to mean, in this day and age, to "act like a man". I mean, what is acting like a man anymore? Wearing pants? (No, girls do that...) Carrying and/or being able to use a gun? (Not by a long shot. Look at Sarah Palin, for god's sake!) Fighting? (Heck no. Cat fights, people, and it's not like you exactly think of tomboys getting into those.) Using heavy machinery, fixing things, putting them back together, mechanics and that kind of thing? (I think not. Look, there are female mechanics. There are females who drive road graters for a living.)

In fact, I don't really see how there's a way to act like a man, really. Not anymore.

So if there's no acting like a man, how do you go about treating a girl like a man, and why is it considered a punishment in the first place? Yes, I'm going to treat you like a man by giving you higher wages and better opportunities for executive jobs. I'm going to treat you like a man by NOT automatically underestimating your physical strength. I'm going to give you a default position of higher regard in the majority of Middle East countries. Dear god, who would want to be treated like a man?

I'm not saying that there aren't differences between men and women--of course, there are. But modern American culture has gone a long ways towards blurring the line of what women "can" and "can't" do, and that sort of saying should be null and void by now.

(After a short eternity, I am trying to start blogging again. I kind of miss it. Suffice to say that school has started so maybe I'll have more to say now.)

So I just finished The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordian. It is possible that I am one of the last people in America to read this book, since virtually everyone I know already has and keeps saying that I need to read it, I really do.

I read it for my book club, and to be honest if it wasn't for the club I probably wouldn't have finished it.

I found Percy, the main character, to be kind of annoying in places, but mostly really naive. Not like I-was-a-little-sheltered naive, like I-am-a-moron naive. The boy walked into EVERY SINGLE TRAP in the book he could have possibly walked into, and it left you wondering why he apparently didn't inherit any brains from his father, who is a god and you'd think he'd be a little bit smart at least. Hey, camp counselor and buddy. I'd love to go hang out with you by ourselves, despite the fact that you are acting extremely weird and my fate includes betrayal by a friend! No problem! Let's go!

I like Annabeth and Grover, and a lot of the supporting characters. I found the modernized portrayal of the Greek gods amusing--such as the EZ Death line at the Underworld. Clever and all that.

Don't get me wrong. I can see why the books are popular. It's a tried and true formula--boy/girl discovers that he/she has some kind of superhuman powers, makes friends/sidekicks, makes a petty enemy, discovers that he/she has to save the world from something awful, and then goes and DOES save the world from something awful, temporarily vanquishing the petty enemy along the way.

It's just that I think it's a little old. And The Lightning Thief seemed very formulaic in parts to me, so I can't really say I loved it.

Oh well. I suppose I'm glad I read it, anyway.

Have you read it? What did you think?

yes, I was homeschooled. what's your point?

I was homeschooled--unschooled, technically--for five and a half years from a fairly small age. I never had behavior problems--certainly not more than what most little kids go through, at least. So it was a teensy bit annoying to hear, during a discussion of a little boy's behavior problems in the VBS I'm helping with this week, "I've got one thing to say to you--homeschooled."

Homeschooled? I thought. Now there's a word that I never associated with bad behavior. Sure, there are bratty homeschoolers, just like there are bratty public schoolers. But to say that homeschooling actually CAUSES bad behavior seemed a bit over the line.

"They have no structure," the woman continued.

No structure? My surprise increased. A good amount of the homeschoolers I know are very nearly as structured as public school--they worry about due papers and homework just like public schoolers. They borrow textbooks from resource libraries, they go through lessons. In many cases, it's not all that different from "normal" school (note the quotation marks).

"They don't have to learn," she said.

Okay, stop right there. Seriously. I was unschooled, which is the least formal method of homeschooling out there, and even I learned things all the time. I didn't learn one new math concept a day, I didn't do English worksheets, but it wasn't like I sat around and played video games constantly.

I'm sorry for the rant, but this is something that seriously bothers me. Homeschooling a child does not suddenly turn them ugly.

Honestly.

Time has been passing very funnily lately....really ever since school let out. The first week of summer crept by at a sloth's pace, and drove me insane. Since approximately Saturday, however, the sloth traded out for a red racer, and I can hardly keep up with what day it is.

Obviously, I have not blogged in a while. I think the reason is I feel there isn't really much to say that's interesting or fresh or relevant at the moment. I'll start a post and then think, "Eh, no one wants to hear about THAT. That's weird/embarrassing/dull," and delete it. Over and over again.

(Self-motivation is one of those things that I'm still working on.)

Summer is good so far and all...I've been doing a lot of writing (just not blog-writing) and reading, which is wonderful because I hardly have any time for pleasure reading during the school year. It's just that summer's not as crazy as school--not so many bizarre incidents, not as much drama (not that I'm sad about THAT).

So, bottom line is I'm having a bit of a bloggish writer's block. (Is bloggish a word? It should be.)

Over and out.

...and now we know

It has been a very educational year.

At times, slightly TOO educational.

Disregarding, for the moment, what I have learned when it comes to academia, here is a list of some things that the school year taught me:

1. If you are nice to everyone, they'll return the favor. There are exceptions to this rule, I suppose, but it works very well in general and I've certainly gained some friends through it.
2. When torn between social grace and having an excellent time, have an excellent time.
3. When torn between being cool/going with the flow and saying what you actually think, say what you actually think. Your conscience will thank you.
4. Run away from boys who throw frisbees at your head. Actually, run away from boys who throw ANYTHING at your head. It's not necessarily limited to frisbees.
5. If your teacher spells something wrong on the board, and you're fairly familiar with them, it's usually okay to point this out. Just don't do it if they're in a bad mood, because they don't appreciate it then.
6. If you pay attention in class and try hard to do well, your teacher will like you.
7. If anyone claims that they used to be married to you, sit as far from them as possible at all times.

See? Very educational. We'll see if ninth grade turns out this interesting (betcha it will).

sports for the uncoordinated

I am not athletic.

I don't mean that I'm lethargic or dislike exercise; I love walking and running and playing basketball and volleyball.

I'm just...horrible at it. Kind of hilariously horrible. I've learned to laugh at myself, let's say, when I try to return a volleyball and it goes straight up only to come down and bonk my head instead of going back towards whoever I was aiming at. Or when I'm dribbling and suddenly my hand goes awry and the ball shoots off to the side instead of bouncing complacently in front of me. I refuse to give up, even as those around me shout "Duck!" whenever I pick up any kind of sports equipment.

And I know that there are others like me. Let's face it, we have to get exercise SOME way.

Here is how I manage:

Volleyball Relay

This is whatever happens when I try to play volleyball: it goes the right direction sometimes, but usually it soars away from our intended destination. So we run after it.

...again and again and again. To be fair, we take turns. So it's like a relay, kind of. :)

Negative HORSE

Just like normal HORSE, you play with a basketball and everything and count up the letters. The only difference: Instead of adding a letter when you make a basket, you add a letter when you DON'T. We find the game goes much more quickly this way.

Fetch--Or On Second Thought, Don't!

Anyone with a mildly disobedient dog can play this! Just throw the ball and watch your dog fetch it and take off running at top speed with it. You get to run a lot in this game, so it's very aerobic and healthy. If the dog is just a puppy, this can be played with virtually any object--socks, shoes, china tea mugs, yardsticks, textbooks, whatever!

Twister With Socks

If you don't already--and you should--ALWAYS play Twister in socks. This makes it an even more interesting game and also ensures that it doesn't last too long. After all, if you play right, your arms and legs are twisted up with everyone else's, as the name implies, so once you go down, everyone else will too. Have fun, kids!

The safest thing to do, of course, would be to just jog or something, but where's the fun in THAT, I ask you?

No fun at all. And if you can't be good at sports, you should at least have heaps of fun while you play.

Over and out.